John Dies @ the End by David Wong (4.5 stars)

The original paperback version of this book is selling on Amazon for $200 right now. No kidding. I think that price has been driven by mass popularity (apparently 70,000 people read the original online version) and a very limited print run (you can get the 2010 edition for $10).

It is a horror-comedy, laugh-out-loud funny in parts, and one of the strangest books I have ever read. I didn't find it particularly scary, more just weird and disturbing - it gave me some seriously bizarre dreams. Think the drug-crazed scenes from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas meets Donnie Darko. People climbing into giant spiders, which work as elevators, a cavern dug under a trailer complete with a resident fanged giant slug and a pile of human fingers. You get the idea.

The movie rights have been purchased, but no sign of a film yet. I think it would be a great movie, and fairly scary despite the humour.

The humour is mainly one-liners delivered by John:

You're the kind of man a man wants when a man wants a man

I particularly liked the series of wrestling puns he delivers as he beats the undead with a chair:

You wants the committee, asshole, then you best meet with the chair!

I liked the Soy Sauce and accompanying special powers:

You might be able to read minds, make time stop, cook pasta that's exactly right every time.

I think it was a shame there wasn't more Soy Sauce in the story. The part when John uses it to talk to Dave through a bratwurst was a highlight:

Glancing around, I tried to be as inconspicuous as possible as I lay the sausage against my ear. Abruptly, my cell phone went dead.

A drop of grease dribbled into the dead center of my ear, creeping like a worm down onto my neck and below the collar of my shirt. A group of men and women in business suits walked by, swerving to avoid me. Across the street, a homeless-looking guy was staring at me, curious. Yep this was pretty much rock bottom.

Just when you think the story is getting stupid and ridiculous, Wong throws in a joke to have a laugh at himself:

Good. Now, if I know what's going on here, and I think I do, we'll have to wander around looking for that door. Behind it we'll meet a series of monsters or, more likely, a whole bunch of the same one. We'll kill them, get another key, and then it'll open a really big door. Now right before that we'll probably get nicer guns. It may require us to backtrack some and it might get tedious and annoying.

Creepy, highly entertaining, and funny. Be ready for a lot of gore, poop, and dick jokes.

4.5 stars.

This is Not a Drill: Just Another Glorious Day in The Oilfield by Paul Carter (1.5 stars)

This is the sequel to 'Don't Tell Mum I Work on the Rigs: She Thinks I'm a Piano Player in a Whorehouse', but unfortunately nowhere near as good. Paul Carter has led a fascinating life on oil rigs all over the world, and his first book is chock full of hilarious stories and crazy shenanigans.

This book tries to continue in the same vein, but unfortunately he used all his best material in the first book. He borrows a number of stories from his Dad and others, but the result is fairly underwhelming.

I did love this description of all the vodkas available in Russia:

...vodka came in bottles, pots, aluminium canisters - you name it. One was a glass rendition of an AK-47, complete with polished rosewood and red satin-lined presentation box, the muzzle being the pouring end.

Of course the stories he does have are every bit as dirty as you would expect from someone working on rigs. His friend Andy (who also had a disturbing poo fetish that was described in some detail) claimed amongst his accomplishments filling a condom with a shot of Baileys, and dropping it behind the bar to get the bar staff back for being slow to serve his drinks. Once they had discovered the slimy mess behind the bar, he went around, picked up the condom and drank the remaining baileys out. Ick.

Read his first book, give this one a miss.

1.5 stars.

Marching Powder by Rusty Young (3.5 stars)

This book is a fascinating insight into life inside San Pedro prison in La Paz, Bolivia; easily one of the strangest prisons in the world.  Money is essential to survive inside the prison.  Inmates are expected to buy their own cells from prison real estate agents, women and children live with their imprisoned husbands/fathers, and laboratories inside prison cells are the source of a large proportion of the cocaine manufactured in Bolivia.

The story follows the life of a British drug smuggler Thomas McFadden, who became famous for running prison tours inside San Pedro (he was even listed in Lonely Planet).  The author, Rusty Young, met McFadden on one of these tours, and set out to write his story of drugs, bribery, and violence.

Strangely the story is told in the first person, which I thought was a little weird when the author was writing about someone else's experiences.  The story also portrays McFadden in a very positive light, he comes across as an all-round nice guy, and is always in the right in every conflict.  I think Rusty may have been a little naieve in his approach, but Thomas was obviously a charismatic guy.

Rusty's account of Thomas' smuggling techniques was very interesting, and quite ingenious: would-be drug smugglers should take note :)

After the first layer of plastic cling wrapping, I added a thick coating of chilli powder.  Chilli has a powerful smell that throws the dogs off the scent.

Thomas has some fantastic stories: having a cocaine party with the governor of the prison in his cell, and seeing a rapist being beaten to death by his fellow inmates.

I tried to find out if prison tours are still available since we're heading to La Paz soon.  I couldn't get a definitive answer - it all seems to depend on knowing someone inside. 

Apparently the exposure of corruption in this book caused quite the controversy when it was published.  It will be interesting to see what happens when the movie is released, it is supposed to be out this year.

3.5 stars.

Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides (4 stars)

A Pulitzer prize winner about the life of a hermaphrodite? Intriguing.

When I started reading this book, I felt cheated. I was annoyed that Eugenides was starting with Cal's grandparents, and that it was going to take so long to get to the real story. Nonetheless, I worked my way through 1920's Greece and into the next generation in Detroit. I found I enjoyed the journey, but still felt vaguely frustrated and eager to hear about Cal.

As Calliope/Cal's story developed, I was impressed with Eugenides' drawing of Cal's emotions.  I loved this passage:

Emotions, in my experience, aren't covered by single words. I don't believe in "sadness", "joy", or "regret". Maybe the best proof that the language is patriarchal is that it oversimplifies felling. I'd like to have at my disposal complicated hybrid emotions, Germanic train-car constructions like, say, "the happiness that attends disaster." Or: "the disappointment of sleeping with one's fantasy".

Overall, I thought Eugenides' portrayal of Cal's awakening was masterfully done.  The story seemed so realistic that I became convinced it was at least based on a true story, but apparently that is not the case.

After Calliope's 'crocus' was discovered in the emergency room, and the medical drama began with Dr. Luce, I thought the story lost some of its momentum.  Cal as a runaway, hitch-hiker, and Golden Gate Park bum didn't resonate with me, and didn't seem to fit with the rest of the story.  However, I realise that a disconnect from the personality of Calliope was at least partly intentional, to mark the transition from Calliope to Cal.

A worthy prize winner, but I think I could have done with one less generation of Stephanides'.

4 stars.