Monday, January 16, 2023

Gideon The Ninth by Tamsyn Muir (4.5 stars)


It's the Hunger Games with necromancers, in space. But the best part is Gideon, because she's could not give a fuck. She's sarcastic and bitchy as hell, and doesn't give a shit about whatever this dumb necromancer competition is, and is busy checking out all of her hot competitors. Amazing character, so much hilarious dialog. I could read her all day.

The plot is fun: it's a murder mystery inside a really, literally and figuratively, dark version of the hunger games. It's all gloomy haunted creepy-as-fuck rooms with something that is killing these courageuous cavaliers and necromancers in horrendous ways.

The only thing that kind of annoyed me was the weird mismatch of technologies: half the novel is about swordplay with rapiers, swords, daggers, weird knuckle knives etc. But they fly to Canaan house in spaceships and can basically build anything out of bones and magic. They couldn't invent a projectile weapon?

But I'll suspend my disbelief because Gideon is a treasure. She reminds me of murderbot and hard luck hank.

“the only job I’d do for you would be if you wanted someone to hold the sword as you fell on it. The only job I’d do for you would be if you wanted your ass kicked so hard, the Locked Tomb opened and a parade came out to sing, ‘Lo! A destructed ass.’ The only job I’d do would be if you wanted me to spot you while you backflipped off the top tier into Drearburh.”

“Oh, this is boring,” Gideon had said in disappointment. “I wanted one with a skull puking another, smaller skull, and other skulls flying all around. But tasteful, you know?”

The man who’d put the sword to her neck was uncomfortably buff. He had upsetting biceps. He didn’t look healthy; he looked like a collection of lemons in a sack. 

He had the eyes of a very beautiful person, trapped in resting bitch face.

“Surprise, my tenebrous overlord!” said Gideon. “Ghosts and you might die is my middle name.”

Corona had vaulted herself out of the water in a flash of warm golden skin and her exceedingly long legs, and Gideon made her first and only devout prayer to the Locked Tomb of thankfulness and joy. 

There's a lot of characters to keep track of, a number of which have multiple names and nicknames, it's pretty hard to keep them organized in your head. The plot is also somewhat deliberately confusing because gideon herself is confused for 99% of it. I was quite surprised by the ending, but there's a LOT left unresolved to reel you into the next book.